“If I Controlled the Internet” by Rives

If I controlled the Internet you could auction your broken heart on eBay. Take the money, go to Amazon, buy a phonebook for a country you’ve never been too call folks at random till you find somebody that flirts really well in a foreign language. If I were in charge of the Internet you could map quest your lover’s mood swings, hang left at cranky, right at preoccupied, u-turn on silent treatment all the way back to Tongue Kissing and Good Loving. You could navigate and understand every emotional intersection.